Fifty Shades of Rosé
by Anna Juggernaut
Summary: What if Ana had a different past, different up-coming, different parents and her own demons? Join the journey of two damaged persons who try to heal together. Normal pairing, different POVs, I don't own FSOG only the plot. The characters belong to wonderful E. L. James.
1. Chapter 1 A POV

**Hi guys, besides my crossover Fifty Shades of Full Moon, this is my first FSOG fan fiction, I hope you'll enjoy it as I haven't read comparable plots, but if you loved Fifty Shades of Damage or Paging Dr. Steele you might like it.**

**I hope to up-date regularly and would love to hear from you.**

**I love u guys, have fun!**

**xo Anna**

Ana's POV

„Aright Ana, tell me about your next goal. After you successfully managed to get settled in Seattle what is your next milestone? Where do you need or want my help?" My psychiatrist Dr. John Flynn wanted to know. I was his patient since a few month, my former psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Bolt had recommended him when I decided to move from England back to the US. Both were specialists in SFBT which meant that they wouldn't focus on the hows and whys but concentrate on the future and that was exactly what I needed.

"I think I want to really settle down, sure my move was a success, but it became only a special thing because of what happened. If my past was different it would have been a normal event, nothing to point out or work for."

"That might be true, but we don't dwell on the what ifs. Your past happened and the move became a big step towards claiming back your old life."

"And that's exactly what I mean: I want to have my life again, to become that person again, or well her 21 year old version."

"Good that you realized that the 12 year old child wouldn't be the same! You said you want to 'really' settle down: what do you or the idea of your 21 year old version of your former self mean with this."

"I always wanted my own family. I loved my family so much, I wanted to have what my parents had, I wanted to experience that kind of love by myself. My mom was 23 when they got me. I always wanted to be a young mom, too."

"In other words you want to find the love of your life and start your own family?"

"That sounds a bit crazy when you say it and I do realize that this is the wish of many woman in this world, but I don't want you to find the perfect man for me…"

"So what do you need from me? What shall we work on?"

"Well for the unrealistic case that I find my man I want to be able to build a relationship with him. I want to be prepared and ready for love."

"What would prevent you now? Why do you feel unprepared?"

"I don't think that I could stand to go out for a date without knowing everything, I don't think that I would be able to spend some alone time with him. I couldn't get in his car without knowing where he will take me, I guess couldn't even let him drive. And let's not start with any kind of a physical relationship"

"Ok let's drop your last point for now. If you ask me this all point to some control issues. Do you agree?"

"Yeah, probably. I'm so messed up!"

"Ana, it is absolutely reasonable for you to have control issues. Your control was taken from you for an horrible long amount of time and I'm very positive that every possible partner you choose would respect your need to be informed and to make your own, educated decisions. There are plenty of people outside this room who hate unexpected events and can't stand to be surprised and didn't survive something tragic as you did. But we can work with this, because there is an easy solution for your problem: trust."

"Hmpfh"

"That's what I thought" Stupid grinning Flynn.

"Alright: so you think if I could trust the guy I wouldn't need to control every second?"

"Well let's say: if you would trust the guy not to harm you, but to protect you, that you are safe with him and that he is acting in your best interest than you can relax beside him. I mean think about it: what is your fear if you would let him drive? That he would kidnap you like they did? That he would take you away? That you couldn't return?"

He didn't need to paint this picture! I already had these thoughts running through my mind 24/7. My brain wouldn't shut up, it would always analyze all the possible ways someone could harm me. I didn't need my psychiatrist to fuel my paranoia.

"I get it Flynn, but please I can't no more! Can we drop it for today?"

"Sure Ana, you are in control here, you are taking the shots! Deep breathe Ana! It's alright, you did good."

I hate my panic attacks. I know it would be smart to make them my next milestone, but I'm not ready for that. That would mean I had to work with them, facing them. I can't do that. My new project seemed easier, well until Flynn started questioning it.

After a while I realize that Flynn is trying to talk with me.

"Can you come back to me, your safe here. You are in control." I'm gradually feeling better and realize that I'm on the floor. I stand and Flynn eyes me warily.

"Would you like to take some anxiety meds again?" Flynn wants to know, but I shake my head – I didn't like the side effects, but at the beginning these where the smaller evil.

"Can I provide you with something else?" Another shake, the words have not returned to me yet.

"Well if that's the case we are done for today" and I breathe out loudly "but Ana, would it be alright for you to wait in my waiting room for - let's say for 10 minutes? I would feel better if you calmed down a little more." I nod and head for his waiting room with a wave of my hand.


	2. Chapter 2 C POV

Christians POV

SFBT – sounds like a STD.

But after my last psychiatric called me a hopeless case this seems to be my last chance. Needles to say I fired the fucker. One session and if this Dr. Flynn isn't some sort of a magician I'm out of it. I tried long enough. One chance and I'm done. I don't know why I'm even still trying, but my regular sessions are so integrated in my daily life. Grace's philosophy: music, language and material arts, well in my case: music, language, material arts and therapy. I couldn't drop one of these, but I will if this Dr. Flynn is a charlatan like "Dr." Holph. At least it is nearby and I don't have to drive 24 miles through rush hour. I'm early, but this way I can find out more about him. The background check wasn't really interesting: originally from England, married, two kids, came to the US because of his wife, met her in Cambridge,… I guess he'll be shocked about my lifestyle, let's see how you'll handle this doc.

The door on the other side of the room opens and a goddess stumbles out of it, I instinctively raise to offer her my arm, but some older man from behind her beats me. He leads her to one of the waiting chair and tells her 10 minutes. She nods and he looks at me.

"You're early" he states, turns around, closes his door and leaves me dumb folded facing his closed door with a goddess behind me.

Get a grip Gray, what's going on? You don't look at woman that way and you most certainly don't face closed door, control yourself!

But foremost control this situation! I don't want to look like in idiot facing the door and turn around. There's the goddess, curled up in one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs. Her feed are on the chair and her arms are curled around her knees, she shakes slightly and her trembling is what gets me moving. She looks so fragile and lost – no goddess is allowed to look that way! I can't stand to see this goddess suffer, my legs move on their own accord towards her and all I want to do is to take her pain away.

But I'm a stranger, I can't just walk to her and comfort her. I try to remember what worked for me when I was younger, before I started to beat up little brown haired girls.


	3. Chapter 3 A POV

Ana's POV

Oh gosh! Worst time ever for a breakdown. I'm seriously punished for some sins from my life before otherwise I can't understand why I'm freaking the one time another person is in the waiting room. Usually Flynn plans enough time between the different sessions so his patients won't meet. And it is just my luck that this person is Adonis himself. I'm seriously embarrassed. Never in my whole 21 years did I feel around a man the way I just do. I never ever found another person attractive in this way and just when I do, I'm simply a mess. I walked to one of the chairs and wished I never agreed to John's request. Now I have to wait ten minutes polluting the space of the incarnation of Adonis. I'm curling up in my chair, hoping not to offend the god by my presence and make myself as small as possible. I feel the extravagant wooden floor in Flynn's waiting room moving and the chair next to me squeak.

"Did you ever fly in a helicopter?" The most beautiful voice next to me wants to know. What a random question.

"eh – no." I say, surprised I just answered, very eloquent Mrs. Editor.

I risk a peek and see that it's _him _sitting next to me. _Who else_? My inner goddess roles her eyes. _Why did you answer him?_ My subconscious snarls and rises from her couch, unsure if she should fight or flight. _He wanted to know I couldn't deny him anything_, I argue.

"You should, one day. It's one of the most magnificent things to do. On my first Christmas after my parents adopted me, I got my first present ever – a flying helicopter for kids. It's still the best present I ever got. As a kid I spent, well if you add all the times, at least a year flying the helicopter through our house. And if not, I would imagine myself in the cockpit, operating the whole thing by myself and thinking about places it would take me."

"And it never broke?" Why did you say this? My inner goddess reprimand me.

"Eh no. I still own him and he's working just fine."

"A he?" I just had to grin back, he was adorable, talking about his favorite toy.

"Does he have a name?"

"Sure he does: Tango-Golf" Gosh! How proud he looks, like I said: adorable! I had to bit my lip not to call him something offending, like cute!

I started to feel quite comfortable around this man and started to relax. Not enough to sit straight, but to lift my gaze. I couldn't believe that such a magnificent man would talk to me about such a personal experience to a Plain Jane like me. When I looked up I found him starring at my lips and I immediately blushed. I saw his gaze wander to my cheeks and heard him take a deep breath. Finally our eyes met. I was bewitched. He had the most gorgeous gray eyes I had ever seen. I felt like I lost everything I hold dear by looking at him – myself, my past, the time,.. he was looking at me as he could look right through all the barriers I had built in the past and would look right into my core to see – me. I felt naked, but astoundingly it didn't felt uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, actually – it felt good, like my past didn't matter, like I was accepted just the way I was.

"By the way I'm Christian." I heard in the distance.

"Ana" I whispered. And just like this the spell broke. Broken by the nerve-wracking, knowing-all charlatan John Flynn.

"Mr. Grey, how do you do? Please take a seat in my office. Ana, if you feel like it, you're good to go." I nodded, trying hard not to scroll at Flynn.

"I'll be there in a moment" Christian said, practically dismissing Flynn out of his own waiting room and he turned to me. Flynn gave me a skeptical look, but left us alone.

"Ana, this might sound forward and I promise you I don't do this in a regular basis, but I'm quite busy the next few days, but I'd like to talk to you some more. I'm free after my talk with Dr. Flynn. There is this nice café right across the street. Would you like to drink a coffee with me?"

"As long as I can drink a tea." I find myself saying and the most beautiful smile breaks across his face, making him look like a much younger man.

"It won't take long" he says and walks away.

Five minutes later I sit still dumb folded in my chair and can't believe what I just did. My inner goddess is really proud of me, while my subconscious is hiding under a stone and shivering in fear. But I can't find it in me to care, instead I'm feeling kind of giggly. A feeling I haven't experienced in quite some time now. And I decided to just go with the flow.


	4. Chapter 4 C POV

**I don't know how much time I'll have to upload on the weekend, so a bit more for you to make it through;-)**

**Thank you for reading, liking and reviewing my story!**  
**Love u guys, Anna xo**

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Christian's POV

Can somebody tell me what just happened? Please? WTF I thought _please_?

I just disclosured some personal information to this foreign woman and I can't find it in me to mind. I'm not a big talker. I always preferred to listen – listen closely and between the lines and the other rule: stay detached.

I have no idea what made me talk, but I can't find it in me to regret it. Quite the opposite. I'm feeling excited. A first I think. I just want to put the necessary talk with Flynn behind me to be free for Ana. Actually I see myself returning to this place, although therapy hasn't started, only to see her again. I'll have Barney hack into the office calendar so I'll know Ana's schedule.

"Mr. Grey, how can I help you?" Flynn's question brings me out of my thoughts – another first. I don't go unprepared and I don't get surprised.

"As I send you the folders from my last three therapists" – I should have said boxes, they needed more than that to transfer all the stuff I accumulated in my impressive therapy career - "you know that I tried different kind of therapies, but to speak frankly non of that worked for me. That's why I developed my own strategies. I heard about SFBT and decided that this was the last therapy-form I would try." Suck it Flynn, your turn if you want to make money with me.

"All right. In SFBT we don't dwell on the past. In the opposite, we set goals and work toward them. Though I've got your information, but I won't read it. I don't need to know every little ugly thing of your past to help you focus on your future. What do you want to achieve?"

"This questions sounds funny, asking a multi-billionaire."

"Your goal is work related?"

"No." Damn shrinks and now he is smirking.

"Like I said I developed my own strategies, but they only partly work."

"Can you give me an example?"

"I sleep three till four hours per night and once awake I usually can't go back to sleep. I play the piano to calm down and try again, I exercise to exhaustion and I keep my mind busy with work. One of the reasons I'm so successful is that I work up to 100 hours a week. And before you as I did try pills, but they are no option." Hell to the no, the nightmares are bad enough, but to be caught within them and not to be able to wake up, but to be forced to relive it again and again – let's say staying awake sounds more refreshing.

"Thank you. So your strategies are playing the piano, sports and working. What else is working for you?"

You asked? Now you'll get it.

"I regularly whip little, brown haired girls into submission." Suck this Dr. Flynn. I love their expressions after telling this, but this one seems to be able to handle this shit.

"Am I under the correct impression that you are practicing BDSM as a copying strategy?"

Didn't expect this.

"Exactly."

"What does this make you feel? You said playing the piano makes you calm, sports physically exhausted you and work keeps your mind busy and distracts you. What function holds the whipping?"

"Sexual gratification."

"So it is more than just the whipping or is it only the whipping that sexually satisfy you?"

"Yes and no."

"Ok, but back to the question sexual gratification isn't a coping mechanism. When do you resort to this strategy and what does it give you?"

"It gives me control."

"So you like to be in charge? Can you think of other times in your day that you reach this goal through a different act?"

"In my job knowledge is power. You need to know the background, the strength and weaknesses of your partners and opponents. Everything is based on well educated and informed decisions."

"What happens when you feel out of control?"

"I try to compensate."  
"What does this usually entail?"

"I'd call my sub."

"How often do you meet with your sub."

"Usually every other weekend, but right now I'm looking for a new one."

"Do you struggle because of your lack of a sub?"

"Let's say my personal trainer is rather busy right now, but I manage."

"All right, for today our time is nearly over as it was only a get to know meeting and evaluating if this therapy form was something for you. Do you want to think about trying it or did you already come to a conclusion?"  
"As this is my last option I'll give it a change."

"In this case I'll see you next week."

As soon as I'm out of the door everything that happened within there is forgotten. Another first. Let's hope that someone is still waiting for me…


	5. Chapter 5 A POV

**Hi dear readers,**

**thank you for your respond so far I really appreciate it! I hope you'll enjoy the next chapters, have fun!**

**Love Anna xo**

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Ana's POV

I can't do it, I must be stupid, how could I tell him yes? Well – I didn't, but my answer meant the same. I should just leave – he only knows my first name and not even my full one. He couldn't find me, he wouldn't be able to. I would have to make sure that our therapy times wouldn't collide but that should be no problem. But I felt so comfortable around him. I want to see him again. He told me exactly where we'd go and it's within walking distance. In fact I've been to this place before, I even liked it. I couldn't think of a better place to meet if I should have suggested a place. The owner knows me and Flynn will be at his office for at least three more hours. He didn't give me some homework – thanks to my little stunt. But I'm quite positive that this could have been one of his tasks. My inner goddess pulls her glasses out of her back and unfolds her to-do list, she points at item No. 4 "be brave" and looks at me expectantly. Taking a deep breath I finally sit straight in my chair and tell myself: today I am brave.

I don't get any more time to convince myself of the opposite as the door opens and my Adonis – eh Christian walks into the room.

Well, let the show begin.


	6. Chapter 6 C POV

Christian's POV

The café is really nice and due to the beautiful woman at my side only three quarter of the present woman ogle me – that's some progress, but the men looking at Ana irritate me. Ana is luckily getting more and more relaxed and we talk about easy topics, but event those are interesting and fascinating with her. More than one time I find myself lost in her eyes, her blushed cheeks, her lips and most of all her rare smile. I find a part of my brain dwelling about things I could do to make her smile. I found out that she just moved from England to Seattle a few months ago, but that she is originally from this area and that she is still settling in. She works for the publishing company SIP, which is small, but has a good reputation. She works as an editor, which allows her to work from home if she wants to as long as she attends the weekly meetings and met her deadlines.

She told me that she loves that she is able to make her favorite past time activity her job and we talked about our favorite literature. She enjoys the old British literature, romance, heart and flowers, but I can't find it in me to mind. She's a goddess, she deserves to be worshipped and honored with flowers and other gifts.

Who are you and what did you do with my brain? I can't believe what I'm thinking and how attached I feel towards a woman I just met. Quite the opposite, I feel so comfortable as if I knew her my whole life.

But another part of my brain tells me to enjoy the moment and not to dwell on the whys as soon as the goddess will realize what a fucked up son of a bitch I am she will run and then I can analyze it.


	7. Chapter 7 A POV

Ana's POV

I can't believe it! Here I am Anastasia Rose Steele, sitting in a café, drinking my favorite tea, WITH A MAN! And I'm enjoying myself! Like every other 21 year old woman. I can't believe it, but sitting here with Christian makes me actually feel safe. I never thought that I could feel this way ever again, neither alone nor with company, It's astounding. He is so easy and fun to be with. He told me about his company and I'm beyond impressed – he isn't only Adonis, he lives his dream and built his own company, successfully. And this man listens closely to everything I'm saying, as if he knows which questions not to ask. I don't hesitate telling him about my job and my hobbies. I'm impressed when he tells me about his real helicopter Charlie-Tango. I think he thought about offering me a ride, but it was like he knew that this would scare me and he changed the topic. I'm even more fascinated with his two other favorite things: sailing and soring. It sounds dangerous to get into an airplane without an engine, but the way he teaches me about the air dynamics and physical forces I'm following his every word and find that I actually would like him to show me those with his plane. After a while his phone vibrates and I tell him that I'd use the restrooms to give him some privacy, but I do realize that this break does come in handy.

When I return he stares angrily on his phone and his whole body vibrates tautness. I find myself backing away from him, unsure of his change of behavior. But by taking a step backwards my luck strikes back and I crash into a waitress and her trail. I land with a loud crushing on my button and after the first shock weans off I feel my hand hurting. When I look around I find Christian next to me, holding my hand with one of his, but with his other hand he is still on his phone, but all I hear is some barking, no words, my head is spinning and my vision blurs.

"Ana!" I hear a beautiful voice in the background and feel some arms around me.

I should get away from those my sub-conscious tries to tell me, but the blood on my hand reminds me of the last time I was bleeding from my hand.

And this is a road I most definitely don't want to take. I try to focus on my surrounding, using the technic my old psychotherapist and I worked on. Firstly I solely focus on the smells around me, the most prominent is a comforting jasmine smell, which seams to surround me. That's good, that's exactly what I need. I brought myself away from the dooming flashback. Suddenly I feel that I'm being lifted and panic tries to overcome me again, but then I hear the world's most beautiful sound. "Sh, Ana, it's alright sweetie, I've got you. You're save!" and I manage to relax again.

I open my eyes and see that we are outside on the street in front of Flynn's office. And I can finally take a deep breath.

Suddenly a dark SUV pulls over and stops in front of us, a huge, muscular man in a suit gets out, walks around the car and opens the backdoor and Christian is walking straightly towards the open doors.

I try to wiggle out of his arms, but he only grips me tighter.

I start to scream.

He immediately puts me down and I manage to stand on my own, but his arms are still hovering around me.

"Ana! Talk to me! What do you need?" He asks me and explains "I only want to help you! I was planning on driving you to the hospital to get your hand fixed, but I won't do anything you don't want me to, I promise!"

He looks truly concerned and serious and despite of all the shit that went wrong I feel slightly better.

"I can't get in a car." I hear myself whisper and I feel Christian relaxing besides me.

"Alright, in this case can we get back to Dr. Flynn?" He asks and runs his hand trough his hair. "I'm sure he's got some first aid supply. I don't want you to hurt."

I nod and are slowly coming down from my adrenalin rush when we walk through the familiar entrance of John's office.

I hear "Ana" shortly followed by a startled "Mr. Grey!" from John's receptionist/secretary Amanda.

"We had a small accident, do you have a first aid kit?" Christian asks and leads me to my former chair in the waiting area. Amanda joins us after a minute or so with the first aid kit and John in tow.

"Ana! Are you all right?" John wants to know and Christian makes room for him, watching me closely.

"Year, thanks. I'm feeling better now."  
Christian exhales loudly and John asks me if I would allow him to clean my hand.

I need a moment to prepare myself for his touch and manage to convince myself that I'll be Flynn touching and that tis would be ok.

After my little prep talk I nod and recognize that Flynn realized that this would be a tough task for me.

He gently wipes the blood away and barely touches me. After the blood is gone, it doesn't look that bad. The bleeding nearly stopped, but now you can see that there is a shard in my hand balm.

I'm getting nervous, but John assures me that he went to medical school and knows what he is doing. With a short stabbing pain he pulls it out and I'm finally ready to get a small bandage. Luckily I didn't need stiches.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" Flynn wants to know and I'm shrinking away from him reflexively., fearing that he want to touch me some more.

My bud is feeling a bit sore, but I won't mention this!

I shake my head and John nods.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" he probes, clearly feeling that I'm still a bit out of it. But I shake my head no again and slowly get up to leave.

That's when Christian, who I blissfully ignored, tries to come closer to me, but he is held back by Flynn. I continue to move forward, but stop behind the door. I see my mom in front of my inner eye and her displeased look like she knew I was going to listening in, but even this can't make myself go on.

"Mr. Grey." I hear Flynn's cool voice. He never talk to me this way!

"Dr. Flynn." Christian answers equally cool, maybe even a touch more icy.

"How does it happen that you where with Ana?"

"It happens that we were together during her accident." It seems that he didn't wanted to disclosure any more information, but with a sigh he added "originally I planned to take her to the hospital, but she wouldn't get in my car, so you were the next best alternative."

"Mhm." Flynn muses "and how did Ana get hurt?" "What are you implying Flynn?" Christian responds angrily. Huh he's a short-tempered one.

"What are your intensions with Ana?" Wow Flynn, where did you left your British manners? I never knew that he could be so straightforward. But after a moment I have to fight back my tears when I realize that he is just looking out for me… Like a dad. And with this I can leave.

I wait in front of the building for Christian who walks a few minutes later out of it.

It takes a moment for him to see me and relieve crosses his face when he gets nearer.

"You stayed."

"At least I had to apologize. Sorry for freaking out on you earlier. I'm a bit sensitive with blood."  
"It wasn't your fault. As long as you are good now." With this he is looking deep in my eyes and it feels if my heart stutters. This gorgeous man is still talking with me, although he saw some of my worst…

"Are you alright?" He wants to know and I whisper a "It's ok." He seems to evaluate my answer and nods after a moment and takes a deep breath.

"I know it may sound weird after this shitty date for you" Date? My inner goddess screams astonished "but I had a very special time with you. Well besides the part when you got hurt." He grins sheepishly, but it's still so adorable and I can't believe what he's saying. "I never felt this connected to another human being before and although we just met it feels like I have known you forever. What I'm trying to say is: I'd like to see you again." He gushed the last part and seems to be relived and proud of himself, oh god can he get any more perfect? "I have no idea what Flynn's problem is or why he is trying to chase me away" now he sounds irritated and I have to smile to myself. "I get it that you might have some issues and that this might be a difficult task for you. But I want you to know that I have issues, too or we wouldn't have met in a psychologist's waiting room. That being said the one thing I can promise you is that I would never do something you wouldn't want me to, you are in charge and it is totally up to you. This isn't something I've ever done before, but for you I would try. What I try to say to you in the middle of some sidewalk is: I'd like to see you again." I'm overwhelmed, is this some beautiful dream? As I don't answer, he continues:

"Like I said I won't be in the city for the next few days. Why don't you take this time to think things trough? Here is my mobile number." And he hands me a card, carefully not to touch me, I think or am I hallucinating?

"You can text me or call me every time. Or you can shred it to pieces, but I really hope to hear from you. Laters!"

And with this he gets in the dark SUV, which I didn't saw before and vanishes.


	8. Chapter 8 A POV

**Hi dear readers,**

**thank you so much for your support! You are awesome and I can't wait to hear some more from you. You'll see that my chapters are quite short, but in return I post about three chapters with each update. I think it helps to get a feeling for the inner processes of the characters in doing so and gives freedom to think about it. **

**My Ana is quite different in comparison to the original one, but as being said in the summary: her past is different, too. So you may call her weak, but my personal opinion is that you can't judge someone without walking in their shoes. With the next chapter you will get a first glimpse in her history, but stay tuned you will learn a lot more in the next weeks.**

**Love Anna**

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A POV

I don't know how I got home after yesterdays "date", but I ended up in my most comfy pajamas and Ben&Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream on my sofa where I woke up this morning. I was even tempted to call Flynn to ask him if yesterday really happened, but the bandage on my right hand and the business card in the other made it quite obvious. Yeah right, I am still holding Christian Grey's business card in my hand and I can't find it in me to let it go. _Like it would vanish if you would_ says my inner goddess and rolls her eyes. Still I won't risk it.

But the problem stays the same: what shall I do with his private number? Hooray and up he rises early in the morning. Yeah well even my subconscious doesn't find this funny and I'll have an earwig for the rest of the day. And with this weird mood I start to review and edit the book I'm working on.

I haven't read the manuscript before as it was accepted already when I started my job, but I really enjoyed it so far. It is a five-generation story and shows how history repeats itself. I know that my father was really interested in family history and had this huge genealogy book with all the family information. It should be in storage, but I'm not quite sure if it survived our personal book Burning.

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_Flashback_

_I hear voices in the background and the crackle of a burning fire. My eyes are closed as I'm just waking up. No wrong I'm gaining consciousness. I try to sit up, but my side and hand hurts. Someone must have heard my moan as a man in black with a dark ski mask covering his face pulls me up. He pushes my whimpering self in my parent's loveseat and is towering above me. "Where is the book?" He roars and I'm shaking in my chair. "I asked you where is the fucking book?" I have no idea what he is talking about but I don't dare to tell him. He slaps me on the face and turns around. "She's not talking." He tells someone and I see another man in front of our bookshelves. Now I realize where the soft lightening and the sounds are coming from. Next to him is a burning pile of my mom's favorite books. I'm stunned most of them I wasn't even allowed to touch as she owned some first editions. The second man grabs another book, opens it, scans it, rips it in half, checks it again and throws it in the flames. I grasp and try to convince myself that I'm dreaming. I think about pinching myself to wake me up and look down at my hand. I feel like vomiting when I see that my hand is bleeding pretty badly. Now the pain returns and it is getting harder to breath as my side is hurting, too. I try to recall what happened, where are my parents? Suddenly I remember and unconsciousness has me back._


	9. Chapter 9 A POV

A POV

The last two days have been hell, the smallest things suddenly turned into triggers and I crushed from one flashback into the next with nearly no break and was two times thinking about giving up.

I had to stop working on the book and spend the rest of the time with my all-time homework: trigger description. Every time a new trigger which courses a flashback arises I have to fill out a questionnaire from my old therapist. John asked me to continue if a new one should present itself so I tried to face them and stoically answered the questions. I probably should have called Flynn, but I'm still getting used to him. He never saw me breaking down before, well besides the small episode in his office, but this was nothing in comparison. I called my old therapist in England and he coached me through the hardest parts and I was grateful that he didn't turned me down, but he also told me that I would have to let Dr. Flynn in.

I don't want to. I know he is right, but an unreasonable part of my brain is convinced that as long as I don't talk with Flynn about it I'm leaving my problems in England.


	10. Chapter 10 A POV

A POV

Day three and I'm feeling slightly better. The last two days where so exhausting that I had a dreamless night. The first nightmare free sleep since quite some time. No that's wrong it was nightmare free, but not dreamless. I remember some stunning and piercing grey eyes. And with that realization I know what to do with Mr. Grey's business card.

* * *

**I know this was really short, even for me. Sorry, I'm trying to be better;-) You'll hear from Mr. Grey in the next days. Let me know what you think and stay tuned.**

**Love Anna**


	11. Chapter 11 C POV

C POV

"Ros you need to send me the original paper draft ASAP! If we don't get them to fucking sign these by 12 pm I'm out of here! I gave the IT department 3 more hours to get it and the legal team is in the HQ running through the paper trail." This trip has been a complete cluster fuck. From the moment I stepped into the building of my potentially new company in Boston everything went down the drain. I knew the company was struggling or I wouldn't have considered stepping in, but our background check didn't revel the gravity. I needed Welch to update, double check and reevaluate 3 weeks of work and send the company jet back to get some more of my staff here. It was obvious that the engineering company was hiding something and I needed to get to the core. I would never buy a horse without checking it's teeth's and I wouldn't let them make a fool of me.

But what was nagging at me even more was that I hadn't heard from Ana during the last three days. The ball was in her court now and I could do nothing else but wait and this wasn't something I was used to or liked. I neither liked that I had to wait for Welch, too as I asked him to get me an Intel about Ana, but due to the urgent situation in Boston this would have to wait.

I was pacing through my office in my suite and ran my hand through my hair. It was a waiting game now. If they wouldn't manage to get the data I would write the company off and leave immediately. That would suck, because a lot of people, time and money had been invested, but this wouldn't hurt me. But it would lead to insecurity among my employees. They know that somebody is responsible for this failure and they know that I have a nearly zero tolerance policy toward failures. So they know to better do their damn job or heads might roll.

I think it is time to remind them who's their boss and what there are fucking paid for. I will get this sorry excuse for a situation under control and then I will personally track Ana down. Enough waiting.

My phone beeps and I wonder who of my employees dares to text me instead of facing my wrath. They all know that I hate texting. Emails are ok, but up-dates have to be orally. It's one of my communication rules. People are often too distracted, only scrolling through their mails or texts and easily forget to answer while a call leads to fast reactions.

It is an unknown number and my ramblings stop, but I don't dare to hope… yet.

** * Hi Christian, I hope your business trip is going well. I'd like to see you again; let me know when you're free? Ana ***

Relieve floods me and I'm very certain that this is the turning point of the disastrous last days. I quickly respond.

** * Not as smooth as planned, but I'll live. Thanks for asking. What are your plans for Friday evening? I'm glad you texted, I worried you took me serious and shredded my business card ;-) C ***

I hope my answer is ok, I didn't mentioned that I would have tracked her down otherwise, that might have sound stalkerish, but on the other hand it would have been simply the truth. Luckily she reached out for me.

Now let's deal with the Boston shit I'm ready to go home as soon as possible. My girl is waiting. What? My girl? God, what's going on with me? I need to talk with someone about this. And Welch has to tell me what's wrong with Ana. Maybe he can hack into Flynn's patient files. I know that's illegal, but I really need to know. Otherwise I may make it worse, like Monday when I tried to get her in my car. I have to know such shit or I can't be in charge of the situation. I can accept her issues, as long as I'm aware of them. I just think of them as hard or soft limits. That's a terminology I can deal with. That's why I love contracts. Mhm maybe I could use this. Ana might feel more comfortable with me if she knows that I accept her terms, too. I need to redraft my contract, get rid of the whole kinky and Master stuff and strip it to my basic needs. Then we can add Ana's. Now I know how to fill my waiting hour.

Ana, Ana what have you done to me?

* * *

I re-read my usual contract two times and now I'm sitting here in the middle of the day with my third scotch in a random hotel suite and think about my life and what a fucked up bastard I am.

Ana would never submit to anything on my very detailed list. Shit. But that's all I know. I still like my idea of a contract between the two of us, but I think I have to deal with myself first.

It is very obvious to me that Ana won't want that kind of relationship I'm used to. Don't ask how, I just know. At the same time I know that I don't want this for Ana either! This beautiful and fragile woman emits just vulnerability and evokes feelings form me I didn't know I was able to form. I need her to be safe, I want her close to me so I can make sure she is all right. I want to protect her from all the evil in the world and that includes me. Shit.

But I need her, too. For her I want to be better. She would be worth fighting for.

It is simple: if I want her, I have to change. For the better. I can't get rid of my issues in one day, so this contract will help us to deal with those. But I know if I want to fight her demons and I know I will, I have to fight mine too.

Let's face the music. And with this a grab a white, spotless and untainted paper and start a mind-map.

* * *

**So a new contract - what do you think should Christians basic needs be and what should his side of the contract cover? I've got a first draft, but I'd love to hear your ideas as you all know Christian as good as I do.**

**Review or pm, like I said I'd love to hear from you and discuss your ideas!**

**Love Anna**

**ps.: if you like crossover check Fifty Shades of Full Moon!**


	12. Chapter 12 C POV

**Dear Followers, Readers, Fans and Friends,**

**thank you so much for your last reviews and pms. It was a joy to read them. I wish you lot's of fun with the new and first version of "the contract". Let me hear your thoughts!**

**Love you,**

**Anna**

**PS.: I finally have my own Facebook site! yeah ;-) you can find me under Anna Jug. I'd love to see you there!**

* * *

C POV

**CONTRACT**

Made this day _ of 2013 ("The Commencement Date") **BETWEEN**

MR. CHRISTIAN GREY of 301 Escala, Seattle, WA98889

MISS ANA

_damn I really need some information about her, I can't stand it that I have to leave it empty!_

**THE PARTIES AGREE AS FOLLOWS**

**FUNDAMENTAL TERMS ** The fundamental purpose of this contract is to allow both parties to explore a possible relationship within their limits safely, with due respect and regard for their own and the others needs and wellbeing.

Both parties undertake to inform the other party immediately if any act should endanger the fundamental terms. Safewords (see APPENDIX C) will help to address such issues, but aren't necessary required. Every party can request a meeting to discuss problematic aspects at any time.

**ROLES **Both parties are equal partners in this contracted relationship and therefor foremost responsible for their own wellbeing. Specifics concerning the behavior toward the other party can be found under APPENDIX A and B.

_Well that was hard to write, but it is important that I document it so I can remind myself. She won't be my sub and I don't want her to be. She has to be my equal. I have to talk to someone about this! Why is it such a bitter pill to swallow? Because I want to shelter her, protect her, care for her – but she's no child, I want her as my partner, dammit! I never had a partner before. I always worked better alone – I think. I remember Elliott being my partner in crime at some occasion or other, but I always felt inferior to him. He was the first child and he was the perfect son to my parents. He could cuddle with them and make them proud. He would always tell funny stories and tried to make me laugh, but as a child I was always worried that they would realize what a bad boy I really was and send me back. In school nobody wanted to be my partner and I couldn't let anybody get close to me. It was a vicious circle. And let's face it no kid could deal with my unpredictable and impulsive moods. I was able to handle it better when Elena got me. I didn't felt so threatened and out of control all the time, she made me focus and I could ignore most of the side snarls and remarks of my fellow students. Let's not talk about Harvard, what a waste of time. None of the professors would have survived in the real world. They taught us theories a five year old could see through and understand that they wouldn't work in a globalized and capitalized world. I checked all classes that lay ahead of me and as soon as I was 100% sure that they wouldn't touch any significant shit I was out of there. None of my classmates could understand – not that I would have cared! They were only interested in sex and frat parties. Gross. My parents were something else. Not that they would have threated me like an equal as I will forever be their child, but a very small part of me did hope that they would support me. Not financially, but emotionally. I swore that day that, should I be ever so irresponsible as to create a child, I would listen to him. Elena did listen to me and loaned me money to start my empire, but she would never respect me as an equal. It was more like a little gift for her pet to have some more bargain chips. I have to do something about her! I think I should cut all chords. I_ _will give her the salons and then we are done. I'm gonna tell my mom that I don't want her to share personal information about me with her. I should have done this years ago._

_And then I started my own business and made sure that I would always be the CEO. More than one company tried to partner with me, but I don't do partners. I need to be the last instance and in absolute control. But I have to admit it is lonely sometimes in my ivory tower. Sure, I'm never alone. At least Taylor is always close by, but there is no doubt that he knows exactly where his place is. That's why we are such a good team. Bah! Team! I'm not a part of a team! It's me against the rest! Always have always will. Or not? Ana, what are you doing to me? Ok, let's try to get this freaking contract done and then I'll see how I feel about it. Aww feel? I make my decisions due to rational reasons not based on feelings. I don't do feelings, I'm a machine! But there's this small voice inside me that tells me it doesn't want to be a machine any longer, it doesn't want to be tortured in the gym to exhaustion and it doesn't want to have to solely function with 4 hours sleep a night and it doesn't want to spend the rest of the time working. It wants to be like all the other humans, living and enjoying its life. You can be one of them it whispers. And god I want this to be true…_

**COMMENCEMENT AND TERM** Both parties accept that certain matters may arise which are not covered by the terms of this contract or that certain matters may be renegotiated. In such circumstance further clauses may be proposed by way of amendment. Any further clauses or amendments must be agreed, documented and signed by both parties and shall be subject to the fundamental terms set out above.

**APPENDIX A**: Mr. Grey _ cancel this it's Christian. Okay these will me my hard limits, my terms and the demons and issues Ana has to be aware of._

The health and safety of Ana is priority at all times. Christian shall not at any time require, request, allow or demand from Ana to participate in the activities detailed in Appendix B or in any act that either party deems to be unsafe_. This part should be unnecessary and seems to be redundant, but I feel better if it's on my list, because Ana's safety is my first priority._

Should Christian be aware of immediate danger concerning Ana's safety, Ana will obey follow any instructions given by Christian or the security team instantly without hesitation or reservation. _I don't want her to obey me, but I need to know that I can keep her safe. I hope she can agree to this._

Christian will pay for all expenses concerning Ana's safety. _I have to tell Taylor to start interviews for Ana's bodyguard._

Christian will also cover all costs if Ana should accompany him to business related meetings or social functions.

In case of illness or injury of Ana, Christian is allowed to care for her, seeing to her health and safety, encouraging and when necessary ordering medical attention when it is judged necessary by him.

Ana will not touch Christian's chest or back without his explicit permission to do so. _Hell to the no, I don't see me crossing this bridge EVER._

While being in a relationship Ana will not drink to excess, smoke, take recreational drugs or put herself in any unnecessary danger.

Ana will eat healthily and regularly. Ana has to report immediately shall she feel hungry. _I can't tell her what to eat, but I wish I could._

**APPENDIX B**: Ana

Ana shall not at any time require, request, allow or demand from Christian to participate in the activities detailed in Appendix A or in any act that either party deems to be unsafe_._

- Travel methods

_I have no idea what her demons are, but I put travel methods in it so she knows it's one point we can discuss._

**APPENDIC C: SAFEWORDS**

Both parties recognize that one of them may make demands that cannot be met without incurring physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or other harm at the time the demands are made. In such circumstances related to this, the affected party may make use of a safeword ("The Safe word (s)"). Two safewords will be invoked depending on the severity of the situation.

The Safeword "XXX" will be used to bring to the attention that the speaker is close to his/her limit of endurance._ I will leave this open, I don't want to use yellow and red. I'm sure Ana and I can think of much personal designations._

The Safeword "YYY" will be used to bring to the attention of he other party that he/she cannot tolerate the situation any longer. When this word is said the other party will cease completely with immediate effect, will help to end the situation or will help the other party to leave the location_. _

**CONCLUSION**

We the undersigned have read and understood fully the provisions of this contract. We freely accept the terms of this contract and have acknowledged this by our signatures below.

Christian Grey

Date

Ana

Date

_I have to say I'm rather happy with this first draft. Sure it isn't complete yet and we may have to negotiate one or two aspects, but I can't wait to learn more about Ana during this process._

Pling

*** Friday evening sounds good to me. What shall we do and where shall we meet? Ana ***

_YES! Wow Grey countenance! But damn it it's a valid question. The whole car travelling thing makes it more difficult, but that won't stop me. If I learned one thing about Miss Ana it's that surprises should be a bad idea. I don't want to discuss the contract in public, but she probably won't be comfortable enough to come to Escala. A private room at a public place it is. And with a grin on my face I text Taylor to make the reservation._


	13. Chapter 13 A POV

**Hi my dear readers,**

**thanks again for your awesome pm's and kind reviews. I now you are eager to know what happened to Ana, we are nearly there, but we still need to cover some ground. I hope you'll understand when we finally get there. Don't worry I'm eager to share it with you, too.**

**So have fun with one more step in the right direction and the start of a wonderful friendship.**

**Love Anna**

* * *

A POV

*** I reserved a private room for us at Le Petite. That's a very popular restaurant in the Piket Market Area. We could meet there at 7. R u game? ***

Wow, talk about considering humans! Although I wanted to sea him again I was scarred to hell and wasn't sure that I could really pull that off, but now his text… He got me. He convinced me. I can do this! I would meet him at a public place, but dine in a private room. I would drive myself and leave after dinner. And foremost: I wouldn't let my phantasy get the better of me. I will stay in the here and now and give him the chance to show me that he is different than those bastards. NO STOP ANN, YOU WON'T GO THERE! I won't let my past rule and ruin my future.

Maybe I should call Flynn and talk this thru, but I don't feel like talking to him. It sucks that he is the only person I know in Seattle or make it the universe. _Pathetic!_ _Don't be a crybaby you're an adult now act like it. You don't need your mommy to hold your hand for your first date! You're 21 for god's sake!_ My inner goddess tries to encourage me, but it's not working. I know I should have made some friends in the last three months, but … No there is no excuse. I will work on this, too. But how? When I started my new job some of my new colleagues invited me for a drink, but I couldn't do this. They were males and too touchy for my liking. I actually considered quitting after this incident. I need a female friend, someone who could give me some pointers for my outfit or to interpret his texts with. Do women actually do this or does this only happen in Hollywood movies? I'm not so sure. I re-read his last text and have to giggle. I feel so happy and normal, but on the other hand I feel depressed because feeling normal is so unfamiliar for me. I continue to play with my phone and find myself scrolling thru my contacts. 14 in total; eight from my work, two from my therapists' secretaries and two with their private numbers – I wonder what you have to say to get these – one from the officer handling my case and one from the living Adonis. Who of those people would miss me? How long would it take for one of them to notice my absence and who would it be? My guess is Flynn. I know what to do: I'll write him an e-mail and tell him that I'll meet Christian on Friday and ask him to check on me on Saturday. Is it pathetic to pay someone to care for you? I wish that I would finally find this couple, my parent's former best friends. They are the reason I moved back to Seattle after I couldn't find them from abroad. I would tell them who I was and would hope that they would become my friends too because of the love my parents had for them. If I just could remember…

Still looking at my contact list I see a name I can't place immediately. I know she worked for SIP, too, but why did I have her number? Oh now I remember we met in the elevator and she works for PR. She told me to give her a call if I needed some pointers for good stores in Seattle. It was rather funny, looking back.

_Flashback_

_"Hi I'm Kate. Are you new here?"_

_"Eh yes, just my second day… I'm Ana."_

_"Nice to meet you! Your accent is cute, where are you from?"_

_"Thanks, I guess. I just moved here from England."_

_"Huh, wouldn't have guessed that, but now that you're saying… So is this your first time in the US?"_

_"Actually I was born in this area, but my family relocated when I was little so I don't really remember."_

_"That's cool! I would offer you a sight-seeing-tour, but I'm really bad with history or numbers and dates, but if you ever need some shopping advice or tips for the really good shops, I'm your girl!" _

_"That's really nice of you, but you don't have to…"_

_"Bullshit. Here, give me your phone!_

_"There you are. Now you're all set and I'm off, that's my floor I'm working at PR. Laters!"_

And that was the tornado Kate. I took the steps every other time I had to be physically present for a SIP meeting ever since.

Maybe I should give it a try. My inner goddess nods approvingly and I press the call button, but hang immediately up. What time is it? Is it ok to call her now? What will I say? It is five o'clock in the afternoon, a absolutely normal time to give somebody you once met a call. I take a deep breath and press the call button again.

_"Hi, it's Kate."_

_"Hi Kate, it's Ana from SIP, we met in the elevator and you gave me your number. Do you have a moment or is it an inconvenient time for you to talk?"_

_"Hi Ana, no that's fine. I'm surprised to hear from you, I thought you quit."_

_"Well, I'm working from my home office so I'm not very often in-house and I was busy with settling down."  
"Ah ok, makes sense. So you're all moved in now?"_

_"Nearly. I'm calling to ask if your generous offer still stands?"_

_"Sure – I would never back off from an opportunity to shop. Do you have a special occasion to?"_

_"Actually I do. I'm going to a date on Friday and I'm not so sure what to wear so I remembered your kind words."_

_"Drop it Ana! I love shopping and I love dates and I would love to help you."_

_"It's kind of short notice."_

_"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find something nice for you."_

_"Thank you so much, you're a life saver! I do have some nice clothes, but I'm not sure what to pick so I'd love to hear a second opinion or if nothing is appropriate to give some shopping in-put."_

_"Awesome! In that case I'm your woman! First of all: do you have an idea where you are going? Or did he tell you what to wear?"_

_"He told me he got us a private room at Le Petite?"_

Whistling_ "Wow, your date knows what to do! I'm impressed. In that case definitely a cocktail dress, maybe even the little black. Shall I come to you and we look thru your stuff and if we find nothing I take you shopping?"_

_"I owe you Kate, that would be great!"_

_"Let's say in an hour? What's your address?"_

I drop my phone on my couch table and can't believe what just happened and am really relieved that this went so well. I check my apartment, but everything is tidy and clean. Kate's gonna be the first person to visit me here, well besides the landlord and the real estate agent.


	14. Chapter 14 The Date

**Hi my dears,**

**I'm so sorry you had to wait so long, but I hope this chapter will make it up to you! I thank all of you for your wonderful support! The story is slowly gaining speed and Ana and Christian are setting the ground for a dramatic story. Today you'll get another piece.**

**Have fun and let me hear what you think,**

**love you,**

**Anna xo**

* * *

**C's POV**

I'm a bit early and I'm already one fit down! Perfect start of a date, but the waitress was unbearable. I'm quite used to the ogling and stuttering and stammering and blushing – they can't help it and it's not my fault that the most woman fall for my look, they can't see that this is just a pretty face – but this one woman was oblivious. The restaurant had to forcefully remove her.

Maybe this time I was partly to blame as I was dressed to impress, but I couldn't let anything disrupt my date with Ana. I doubled checked that my suitcase was still under the desk. It contained the manila folder with the first draw of my contract and I hope that this is a good idea.

I still haven't heard of Welch or Barney, which bothers me to no end. My phone vibrates and I hope it isn't Ana bailing. But I relax when I see that it isn't her. It is actually Welch and the headline excites me! Re: Ana Doe.

I quickly check my watch and see that I have still time to read her background check before Ana arrives.

But I'm more than disappointed when I realize that the mail contains no attachment.

I scroll through Welch's mail and my heart feels heavy in my chest. I try to take a few deep breaths but this only helps marginally. I try to focus on the fact that I at least know her full name now, but this doesn't comfort me.

Anastasia Rose Steel. Beautiful. Just like her.

Barney hacked Dr. Flynn's patient database to obtain it, but he only pulled her head information from the server, like her full name, birthday or identification id to use this on his other sources. He didn't obtained Flynn's therapy notes, for now. The decision is mine to make and I'm torn. I decide for now that I will make my choice after the date and just when I put my phone away there's a short knock on the door and the most beautiful woman on this planet is lead into the room by the hostess.

Looking at her feels like an outer space experience. She is my revelation. I need her. I want her. I would do anything for her. I have to make this work. She is still standing and I try to focus on the here and now. That's when I realize that another part of my body recognized her beauty, too. I try to secretly adjust myself while getting up to greet and seat her. Another first, Mr. Self-control. I give her a chase kiss on her cheek after evaluating her behavior and coming to the conclusion that this should be ok. She has jet to say something, but she seems out of words, too, but at the same time more than comfortable with me.

* * *

**Ana's POV**

Kate did an amazing job! I'm so glad and proud of me that I was brave enough to call her. The place Christian chose is beautiful and I fell like being a part of a fairy tale. And with this thought I decide to embrace it. Today, this evening I will pretend that fairy tales do exist. I will make myself believe in happily ever after. Adonis may not be my prince charming, but as long as I don't give it a chance I'll never know.

When the hostess opens the door to our private room I feel like opening a new chapter of my story. It feels like this could be the turning point of my life. No matter if for the better or the worse. But for this evening I will believe for the first time in a very long time that it could be for the better.

It feels like the time stood still while I was looking at Adonis and marveling about this chance from the universe, while he seemed to be in thought, too.

But his watching eyes didn't make me feel uncomfortable. Quite the opposite. He looked at me like I was something precious. He made me feel beautiful.

There was no need for words. Just him and me and the calm feeling in my heart that somehow everything would be ok.

We didn't talked much during the dinner (which was delicious, by the way, but I didn't expect anything else with Christian). But it wasn't for the lack of topics, questions or interest, but because we were so comfortable with each other and we were relaxing in each other's presence that they weren't needed.

I can't remember the last time I was so relaxed with another person nearby, let alone a man and when Christian told me that I made him feel calm – an emotion he missed in his life – I was even happier.

When we did talk it was easy and fun and I had the time of my life.

The atmosphere shifted when we got closer to dessert and I observed that Christian appeared to be nervous. Nothing I expected Christian to be after a few nice hours together.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yes, why are you asking?" He wanted to know.

"You are just seeming to be nervous and I wondered why."

"Perspective much?" He smirked. "It's just I would like to talk to you about something and I don't know how to start." He admitted and I smiled at him.

"Mh ok, you got me interested. Do I have to worry?"

"No! I just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, but this is exactly the reason why… I'm not used to this. I don't do relationships and I don't date. Well till now, I didn't met you at Dr. Flynn's because I wanted to see an old friend and chit-chat. I've got issues and I assume you got some too. And if you want to meet me again you should be aware of some of them, but I don't think that I'm comfortable talking about them and you may not be either. So I thought about this dilemma and came up with an idea.

In my job I deal with different kinds of contracts on a daily basis so I thought that we could draw a contract for us too. So if you would be interested in seeing me again we would know exactly what to expect of the other and what we would be comfortable doing and what not.

That being said: I would like to see you again, get to know each other better, spend time with each other and see where this takes us. But if you are not interested or have a better idea instead of the contract I'm all ears." This is the most I've heard him talking and he got quicker and quicker to the end, but I think I've got everything. He's looking hopeful, but also still very nervous. I have to redeem him!

"Wow this is hands down the most considering thing I heard- ever! I can't believe that you gave this so much thought and I think it's brilliant!" A mega-watt smile appears on his face. God I could live for this smile, could SIP pay me with Christian smiles instead of dollars?

"Really, you do?" and when I nod his mega-watt grin turns into the most adorable smile. Damn I'm torn.

"I was so free to draw a few lines, well my part you could say. If you like we could consider it the first draft just to give you some ideas. Deem it editing. And if you like it you could add your part and we discuss it the next time we meet?"

"Sounds wonderful! Do you have it here?"

"Yes, but I could send you a version via mail, too then you can work on it on your computer. But here is the paper version." And he hands me a folder.

"In this folder is a second paper draft, too. It is a NDA – a non-disclosure-agreement. I know this might sound weird to start a friendship with, but I'm a very private person and I'd feel better if you signed it. Consider it one of my issues. I would just like to not worry or censor my mind while spending time with you. This is a standard procedure for me, would it be acceptable for you?"

"Yes sure, that's fine with me." And I sign the NDA without a question.

"You didn't even read it!" he states astounded and puts the signed NDA back in his case.

"Well to be honest I don't have a lot of friends so you don't have to worry about it, but if this is your usual procedure..." I say and wink and he starts to laugh – a beautiful sound! I think I have to make him laugh more often. And with this our easy-going atmosphere is back.

* * *

**C's POV**

This date was extraordinary, not that I have much to compare it to, but I'm still sure and quite proud of myself. I could really come down and enjoy the moment. But now it's over. We kissed our cheeks again, this time Ana's lips touched mine too and then she left. I get it that she wouldn't let me take her home, but I'd feel better if I knew she made it home save. I have to talk with her about her own CPO. Taylor already sorted someone out, but I can't do it without her ok. I can't risk to scare her away. I don't know how to pass the time till I see her again, I feel it hard to breath since the moment she left the room. Now that I've found her I can't loose her and now nothing can't distract me. I can't get Welch's last sentence out of my head.

_"These information where all we could obtain through our usual ways, Barney and I hesitate to dig deeper as everything we gathered points to one thing: witness protection and could therefor endanger Ms. Steele's life. Let me know if you want us to continue."_


End file.
